(201) 252-7012You’ve Always Been Worthy
Therapy for those who have been
led to believe otherwise
Online in New Jersey and Virginia
“Let’s start by having you lose some weight.”
Your new doctor states this nonchalantly. Your face flushes, stomach clenching.
You dissociate into the colorful BMI chart on the wall, remembering that same poster from an appointment in your pediatrician’s office some 15 years ago. You recall the sound of his pen tapping the scary red section as he gave your mother a scolding glance.
You and your mom razed the pantry when you got home that day. You were especially ruthless – mom wanted to let you keep the granola bars, but you threw them out because of the chocolate chips.
“So,” you snap back into the moment as today’s doctor continues, “have you ever tried eating a healthier diet?”
“Hmm…” (Low carb. Low fat. High protein. Calorie counting. Clean eating. Fasting. Starving.)
“Could you start getting some exercise?”
“Uh, sure.” (I could never miss a workout, even while injured.)
“Just try to remember, ‘all things in moderation.’”
“Right, yeah.” (I’m already planning how I’m going to binge after this appointment.)
Your face is still hot as you check out at the front desk. You receive a pamphlet and coupon for the latest miracle weight-loss drug, decline to schedule a follow-up appointment, and leave having received no counsel on the condition you came in to discuss.
“We prescribe for fat people what we diagnose
as disordered in thin people.”
– Deb Burgard, PhD, FAED
You figured out your strategy for surviving our weight-centric culture long ago.
For as long as you can remember, you’ve instinctively known how to read people and put them at ease.
You developed a reputation as courteous, funny, and hard-working.
But the truth is, your efforts to be as likable as possible are simply a way of diverting attention and judgment from the things about you that people specifically dislike. A vanishing act, if you will.
And for the most part, it’s worked.
You’re always polite to people, so they may overlook their disdain for you and your body.
As long as you keep them amused, they’ll forget the stupid mistakes you made.
Keep them impressed, and they won’t realize that you feel like a fraud.
But now, your self-worth feels inextricably tied to what others think of you.
It’s gotten to the point where even neutral feedback feels like a cutting slight.
Hustle. Always be better.
God forbid if anyone ever genuinely disapproves or is disappointed by you. Your only recourse is to run and hide.
It’s not your fault or all in your head.
You are not being hypersensitive, and you don’t need to look for good intentions behind otherwise hostile actions.
You face disapproval simply by virtue of existing in your body because systems of oppression like racism, sexism, ableism, and more have all been subsumed under the slick and socially acceptable packaging of diet culture.
The pressures are pervasive, and you have been conditioned to believe that you are the one failing.
“Here’s the reality: We can spend our energy focusing on shrinking and
obsessing about our bodies, or we can use our energy on creating magic
and change in the world.”
– Chrissy King, The Body Liberation Project
Something needs to change.
If you continue trying to protect yourself by preemptively believing that you are a problem, that’s precisely the result you’ll get.
You’ll live a shrunken life, desperately trying to hide rather than risk incurring judgment. As a result, your ability to heal yourself and others is diminished.
Reclaiming the peace and joy stolen from you by those who’ve arbitrarily decided you don’t deserve it will be impossible so long as you continue playing by the rules of diet culture.
Break the rules. Steal your happiness back.
Find a better way forward.
You’ve started to recognize diet culture as the frenetic task master it is,
hell-bent on dehumanizing all but the thin, white ideal.
Things have to change, for the dignity of each and every one of us
being actively exploited by this sham deal.
You deserve better.
And the world deserves the difference that only your authentic self can make.
Hi, I’m Chelsea.
I’m a therapist and happy fat person, providing an affirming space to explore the fullness of your identity through EMDR and talk therapy.
I am also a straight, white, Christian ciswoman, who is actively trying to unlearn the damaging lessons those privileges have afforded me.
I have lived with pregnancy, grief, and weight stigma, and it is my absolute joy to walk with folks through their own experiences with each.
No matter what you’re dealing with, we can process the questions, joys, and complications that have crowded your heart and mind for too long.
It’s time to make a little magic: no more vanishing acts or pre-emptive doubt.
Let’s get you healed up so you can spread that healing outward.
I’m so excited to meet you. Let’s talk.
I’m here to help you with…
Find the healing you deserve.
Live the whole, confident, empowered life you’ve always wanted.
Call me now, and let’s get started on this healing journey together.